The Last Letter...

There were some days when I always thought I could get what I wanted and I could achieve what I desired… One such hidden desire was to achieve your presence in my life. I knew it was very much possible but... the bigger question was HOW? I wish I could answer this bigger question on time… today when I sit and review my nostalgic past, I arrive at the conclusion that “Wrong Choices lead to right lessons in life”.
How I wished I had proposed you that day when I saw you walking from the fogbound hills… on the stoned pathways… where we first met. As I saw your blissful smile, your dew filled freshness and your unspoken love towards me!!! It all looked like a dream… WAS IT A DREAM??? Perhaps, YES. Today when I look at that feeling, the cold shadows of failure some where hurt my sense… my heart cries “YOU FOOL YOU MISSED THE CHANCE” the only consolation of course, I feel that you were not in my destiny.
Can I blame the destiny alone for it? My efforts did lack. If I had stepped forward for a proposal of a cup of coffee or a calm casual walk by the countryside, would I have at least reached closer to my destiny? I don’t know… whether to call you the lost love or the a crushed infatuation… but every time I think of you and I close my eyes… only tears roll down by cheeks… It’s a very painful feeling.
I have spoken to so many people about you and I know that I cannot achieve your presence in my life ever… but I strongly feel that it’s this feeling that makes me to sail though the difficult tides of life. The feeling of being with some one very special and close even being actually alone the feeling of a conclave in solitude. Perhaps, the feeling of being adored.
I console myself of the death of my emotions, my desires and my destiny, but are they enough? Can I ever get over the fogbound hills, the damsel beauty and the ballads from the harps? Its just a mere thought or a tale of a crushed love… I am confused myself!!! But I know… whatever it is… I sincerely wish… I had it… I would have lived life so differently from what I have. I am not complaining or something but… it’s a feel of heavens that sometimes, makes even death sweeter or perhaps, it’s the feeling of finding lost love that makes the distances feel shorter.

I wish I could express my emotions to you…

For your presence could have changed the way I lived…

As I walk by the stoned pathways today…

I remember your smile…the pain goes away…

The crippled legs suddenly get the power…

…To walk past the huddles

Raised hands and anxious eyes… still await your feel…

For one day, death shall reunite…the lost love… my destiny… my YOU!!!

The girl at the shopping mall

Just standing casually at the shopping mall
My eyes stopped at you,
I don’t know who you are…
But… my life has become beautiful the very moment I saw you;
So simple in resonance,
For angels and fairies are second to you…
I barely remember what was going on
Except you nothing was visible to me,
The solidarity that you carry
Invade my senses
Making me think of… nothing but you;
We looked at each other for a long time
But didn’t speak a word
Yet I feel …your eyes told me a long tale
As life has just began for me;
No one except you is in my mind
Though clouds have covered me
Yet my firm mind thinks of nothing but you;
Can there be such a flower
Whose fragrance is universal and beauty divergent…
As now I have an answer…
My dear I don’t know what you are…
But that fraction of glimpse made me feel…
As I was in heaven
Form that moment…
I prey to god
May my dream of attaining you…come true;
Some day perhaps
Before the eclipses of the dawn
We may meet
To rejoice and remember
The momentary infatuation…
That I carry now











Changing bondages…



On a journey back home…
We saw each other in coincidence;
For love was in the air…
Our eyes had a contact
You saw me with a glowing smile
I never knew this smile would last for ever
Though we parted goodbye
But your image stayed in my sense… like an illusion;
Every object had the presence of you
Never thought… of ever meeting you again…
Although the time span increased…
But the infatuation never died;
You existed within me…
From the day I saw you;
As eyes blink so does your image
Incandescent as its splendid
At every step on the pathway…
I saw you like a mirage;
But today when you are in front of me..
I have lost all the words
For your simplicity is divine;
And only silence can invade it;
I don’t know what to say…
Perhaps you understand my silence…
And anticipate it…
… I anxiously wait for it!!!
















The girl on the corner table

The flair of your hair…that
Unfolds upon your face…
The smile that you carry along… is an ambiance of thought;
The child in you.. is so truthful…
Eyes that describe…
…The tender love
The bracelet in your arm…
… the ring in your finger;
The scintillating lips
The nobility that any one could admire!!!
I don’t know how to describe you
My eyes don’t go off you…
But not a word comes out of my mouth…
My heart for once loves to drown..
Towards the glory of your presence!

My Experiance with Infinity

I went on an expedition of time

Searching for my infinite goal

Roaming the deadliest jungles

Piercing through the deepest oceans

Searching for something that was immeasurable

Immeasurable not in length or depth

But in self confidence

With an invisible fear of downfall

I climbed a small hill

Suddenly I found that I was climbing a mountain

Initially faced struggles, but got accustomed

I found there were an infinite line of mountains

My confidence got scattered

Then was an internal war

A war between logic and emotions

A war between confidence and fear

It was a war between a heart and brain

Finally my heart came forth

And gave me the confidence to cross the lines

After reaching infinity I found

I was at the same place from where I had started

But I found my mental status has changed

Now I could measure my goals and…

Found… my limits and capabilities

Imaginations

Picture yourself in the middle of a field. . .behind you is your past, in front of you is your future. As you look behind you see a number of different objects that represent a collection of where you have been and what you have done with your life. As you gaze ahead you see, standing before you, large objects made of stone. In your hands are a chisel and a hammer. What you do with these tools is your decision, but whatever you do, it is a decision.

The rocks or stones are of all different shapes and sizes. . . no two are the same, but to proceed in your life you must in some way leave your impressions on these stones. Some are easy to sculpt, others extremely difficult, but one by one each must be left with a sign that you have been there. I guess we could call this field of stones the "Field of Life." Some of us are just entering the field, as children. others are in the middle, and some are preparing to leave.

If up until now the sculpturing and carvings that you have left on the rocks behind you are not what you consider a good representation of who you are, there are always the stones ahead. Some runners in a race lag behind...until the final stretch. Then all of a sudden they get a burst of energy. What I mean is, it's not too late to turn it around, if in the past things didn't seem to go according to plan.


Stones are very strange objects. You can chip away all day and at first it looks like nothing is taking place. . . but slowly images do start to appear. It takes work...sometimes hard work, to sculpt the future. It's not always easy in this field called Life, but it's important that we come to terms with it and see that there is a bigger picture. As we approach each rock some, no matter how we try, don't succumb to our energy or our thoughts. . . that's okay. . . nobody's perfect. . . but you can always say you gave it your best shot.

At the end of the field is a fence, and at the end of our lives we climb over that fence, and I believe, waiting on the other side, is God, and our deceased family and friends. Slowly we turn and together with God we look back and see our life's sculptures....they represent who we were and what wedid. It may be hard for us to see the "failures," but I have a feeling each one of us will hear lines like "Don't be sad, you did your best." If you fail along the way, if you can say, "I did my best," it does matter. What we all want to see, I think, is a field of many beautiful sculptures. . . sculptures of Love, Hope, and Humankindness.

Each one of us are artists. We may not be painters, but we do, in our own way, paint our futures. The creativity that we need is within us. As we start each new day, the stones await our vision.

Imagine if Hindi songs were sung in english...

Goli maar beje mein (satya)

Shoot the bullet into the brain…

Brain makes lot of sound

Shoot the bullet into the brain…

Brain makes lot of sound

Listen to the brain and u will die kallu

U will do and some body will refill kallu

Uncle..kallu uncle…

Shoot the bullet into the brain…

Brain makes lot of sound

Listen to the brain and u will die kallu

U will do and some body will refill kallu

Uncle..kallu uncle…

Uncle..kallu uncle…

Leave the thinking why to scratch the brain

Uncle..kallu uncle

Our work … to confiscate goods

Uncle..kallu uncle

Leave the thinking why to scratch the brain

Our work … to confiscate goods

Hum pe ye kisne hara rang dala…(devdas)

Whose r these footsteps

Whose are the shadows

There is a knock in the heart

Who is here?

Who poured green color on me…?

The happiness suddenly killed me killed me…killed me killed me…

Who poured green color on me…?

The happiness suddenly killed me killed me…killed me killed me…

killed me killed me… oh god!!! killed me killed me…… oh god!!! killed me killed me…

neither did the moon was decorated on the hands

nor was any relations with the stars

neither was any complaints with god

nor was any complaints with god

all sadness was hidden

all sorrows was faced silently…

also the thorns were hugged…

and was hurt by the flowers

but in wishes when this hand was lifted..

from god in wishes… asked for u…… asked for u…oh god!!! … asked for u…

Who poured green color on me…?

The happiness suddenly killed me killed me…killed me killed me…

Who poured green color on me…?

The happiness suddenly killed me killed me…killed me killed me…

killed me killed me… oh god!!! killed me killed me…… oh god!!! killed me killed me…

killed me killed me killed me killed me ooo killed me killed me ooo

Whose r these footsteps

killed me killed me

Whose are the shadows

killed me killed me

There is a knock in the heart

killed me killed me

Who is here?

killed me killed me

mein nikla gaddi le ke (gadar- ek prem katha)

I started off with the truck….

Ooooooooooooooooohhhhooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaa aaaaa

I started off with the truck….

On the way… on the road…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

only god knows when amritsar passed

when did Lahore come..

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

On that turn a damsel met me

The crazy jaat got insane

In the shadows of her hair..

I slept putting my bed

When I woke up I ran…

All barriers all signals.. I broke… and came

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

Just once I saw her

Just once I saw her

Her pic was nailed on my heart

Wat was her name only god knows

To me she was like the Juliet of the Romeo

I saw a dream…

Her name with my name…

I sticked it

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

Ooooooooooooooooohhhhooo aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaa aaaaa

Shy she got contracted

Shy she got contracted

As she woke from her sleep

I sad just listen to me…

She getting afraid ran back…

She thought sneekingly peekingly some thief came…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

I started off with the truck….

On the way… on the road…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

One turn came… I left the heart there…

Jadoo hai nasha hai ( jism)

Its magic its intoxication…its unconsciousness

After forgetting u where should I go…?

Its magic its intoxication…its unconsciousness

After forgetting u where should I go…?

as I look ..the way my eyes see

me… where should I hide myself…

Its magic its intoxication…its unconsciousness

After forgetting u where should I go…?

as I look ..the way my eyes see

me… where should I hide myself…

Its magic its intoxication…its unconsciousness

After forgetting u where should I go…?

This was the most beautiful flower

The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read, beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree
Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown, for the world was intent on dragging me down.

And if that weren’t enough to ruin my day, a young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play.
He stood right before me with his head titled down, and said with great excitement , “ Look what I found!”


In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight, with its petals all worn down.
Not enough rain, or too little light, wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play, I faked a smile
And then shifted away
But instead of retreating he sat next to my side, and placed the flower to his nose and declared with overacted surprise, “ it smells pretty and it’s beautiful too. That is why I picked it ; here its for you!”.

The weed before me was dying or dead. Not vibrant of colors , orange , yellow or red.
But I knew I must take it , or he might never leave. So I reached for the flower and replied ,
“ just what I need.”

But instead of him placing the flower in my hand, he held it mid–air without reason or plan.

It was then that I noticed for the very first time, that the weed–toting boy couldn’t see, he was blind.

I heard my voice quiver, tears shone like the sun, as I thanked him for picking the very best one.
“ you’re welcome” he smiled and then ran off to play unaware of the impact he’s had on my day.

I sat there and wondered how he managed to see, a self – pitying woman beneath an old willow tree.
How did he know about my self – indulged plight? Perhaps from his heart, he’d been blessed with true sight.

Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see, the problem was not with the world ; the problem was me .
And for all those times I myself had been blind, I vowed to see the beauty in life , and appreciate every second that’s mine.

And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose and breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose.
And I smiled as I watched that young boy, another weed in his hand , about to change the life of an unsuspecting old man…